Live. Love. Be.

If you had read my blog from the beginning you'd know I tend to go in phases. I get caught up in a topic, or way of thinking and everything relates to that until I get bored ormove onto something else.

Going through the archives you could probably guess what blogs I was reading and was influenced by.
There was the creative sewing phase, the phase where I wrote alot about growing up as a missionary kid, the period when I was reading alot of quiverfull/patriarchal movement blogs, and as I moved into teaching I focused on early childhood. My feed reader changed as I moved between interests (obsessions?). Some blogs are still there even when I move onto new ideas, while others are deleted and I have to goggle phrases when I try to find something I remembered reading ages ago.

Looking back I realised alot of what I was trying to do with this blog was create community, to feel a part of something, to share with others. Each new 'phase' came from a need to be a part of  . . . something. I wanted to be part of something people noticed.
But lately, things are changing. I started working and my time to waste on the computer is a lot less than before. This year especially friendships are developing, and I'm feeling comfortable in my role. The change at church has developed into a beautiful community I love to be a part of; I head out to bible study 2 nights a week to learn and share and be part of a group. My health is at the best it has been in a long time (perhaps the best in my adult/teenage life).

Life, at the moment, is good.

I'm finally living my life outside of my room, beyond the computer screen.

Which means this blog has been neglected. Things I wanted to write about relate more to my life (when I just wrote for me, just to record things) didn't seem to fit with the direction I had been taking my blog.

So this is the post where I give notice. I might post often, I might not post at all. But that's ok, because I'm blogging without obligation. I'm writing because I love to write, because sometimes I think things and I want to record them somewhere. It's always possible that I will return again to a new phase as things change in my life.

Because I still am creative, I still think about my overseas upbringing, I still grapple with thoughts of faith, and I'm still excited by new ideas for helping children learn.

But for now, it's just me; living my life, sharing Love with those around me, being here now.

Photo credits; girl in field, lanterns,

Christmas Meme

(Hat tip Kacie)

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper. If I got more than one thing for someone I use to like wrapping each thing individually so that it prolonged the experience :)

2. Real tree or artificial? Fake

3. When do you put up the tree? Generally around 1st December

4. When do you take the tree down? My brothers birthday is early January so we always took it down before then. I think we generally do it on New Years Day.

5. Do you like eggnog? Never had it

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I keep getting confused between birthday and Christmas presents. I think it was a Christmas when Mum and Dad finally relented and bought me my first Barbie (she had been banned on philosophical grounds before this). It was a gymnastic Barbie which had double joints on her knees and elbows so could do crazy gymnastic poses. Possibly the most surprised I have ever been by a present in my life.

7. Do you have a Nativity scene? Still trying to find the perfect one

8. Hardest person to buy for? I always find Christmas really hard because I'm always so sure that I'll get the wrong thing and people won't like the gift. Being an obsessive people pleaser makes gift giving stressful. A couple of years ago I broke down in the shopping center because the pressure was too much. I'm a bit better now.
But I'd have to say the hardest is my brother - it's so hard to judge his tastes.

9. Easiest person to buy for? Kids, I love how excited they get about everything (and anything)

10. Worst Christmas Gift you ever received? Can't really remember. I'm sure there was a pack of hankies at some point from an elderly relative.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Don't really have one

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Mid December. I always start planning way before that but it always takes me forever to decide.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Maybe for a Kris Kringle?

15 Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Our Ice cream pudding, soooo good.

16. Clear lights or coloured on the tree? both :)

17. Favorite Christmas song? I LOVE traditional Christmas Carols. All of them.
From a purely musical point of view I like 'What child is this', Greensleeves sends shivers up my spine.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Since we've been back in Australia we always had to stay where we were for Christmas because of Christmas day service. People came to us. Except that we now don't live with Mum and Dad so we have to travel.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? No

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Morning. A few years ago Mum and Dad started the tradition of waiting until after Church which I love. It's good to remind us what's the real meaning of Christmas and I'm the kind of person where the anticipation is half of the fun.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? People thinking Christmas equals Winter. In the Southern hemisphere Christmas has nothing to do with winter! Look around, it's the middle of summer! Just because part of the world (not here) has snow at Christmas does not mean that Christmas is in anyway connected to Christmas! A snow flake is NOT a Christmas decoration!
I could go on, but I'll spare you :)

Wanting to live outside the box

At church on Sunday our minister said something which caught my attention. During question time afterwards he expanded it a bit.

We talked about how we are physical beings, created to live in a physical world. And some of the problems we can encounter are exacerbated when we try to ignore this fact.

It was something that struck a cord with me. I've been withdrawing more and more each day, spending time in front of the computer or TV because it's safer there.

Why is it when I'm feeling listless, and bored I wander into the lounge room and turn on the TV rather than go outside for a walk?
Why do I feel the need to constantly multitask instead of taking the time to do things properly?
Why do I spend more time reading blogs of people I don't know than cultivating friendships with people I do know?
Why do I grab bites to eat, watching DVD's rather than take the time to prepare a nutritious meal and being thankful for what God has provided?

Don't get me wrong, I think the internet and TV and technology is great - lots of info and great way to expand my world. But I wonder if maybe I'm using it all to escape from the real world, trying to hide from things I don't want to have to face. Am I growing as a person, or am I dissolving away? Am I just trying to pass time until something better comes along?

I don't have the answers. And I'm not about to throw away my TV or computer. But I think I need to take a long hard look at how I'm spending the majority of my time and if it's really what is best for me.

Here's a little heart for you

If there is one thing that annoys me on people's blogs is when music starts playing automatically. Nothing will make me click off a blog quicker. The problem is that if I have been watching DVD's on my computer (which I sometimes do when I sew) the volume is turned right up. So when a song starts up it generally blasts right in my ear and scares me half o death.`(Here's a hint to everyone who dose have it; please only have it play when I turn it on, or make it easy to find so I can turn it off otherwise I'm outta there asap).

But this is all about to come undone in the following story.
I was browsing though some blogs and came across Portabellopixie, the blog of a lady who designs gorgeous children's patterns and also lovely fabric. A song started up. My volume had been turned down and I didn't have any of my own music playing so I let it keep going. Then I started to think "Actually, that's kinda cool." I kept turning back the music player to listen to the first two songs. They were by someone called Lenka, who I had never heard of before.

I did a google search and found out she was an Australian singer (which makes her all the more cooler). It took a bit of searching but I found her CD and I have been enjoying listening to it ever since. Her sound is hard to describe - a bit quirky; happy and whimsical.

It's a cool story for how I came across my new favourite artist. But it doesn't mean I like blog music any more that I did . . . I might just listen for two seconds instead of one before closing it down.

Blog it

If you are a regular blog reader you will know the weird relationship you have with people whose blog you read regualry but don't know in real life.

These people let you into their lives, you get to 'hear' about their ups and downs. You see major milestones and find out about the day to day non-events.

And from that you feel like you know them. Sometimes it's two sided, you read each others blogs and comment, and a relationship builds up. Other times it's one sided, especially if you just read and don't comment much. But still, you care about what happens to them.

A few months ago one of the blogs I read had some awful news. After I read it I felt sick and was down all night. Mum had rung up and I was trying to explain why I was upset and Mum said

"It's like when something happens to a famous person, someone you see on the news."

But it's not really like that, it's a bit different, becasue there is a real person on the other side of the computer, often with similar beliefs, interests and world views as I do. Still I feel a bit silly feeling things so deeply for someone I had never met.

Then it happened again a few weeks ago. Once again I didn't really know how to react. If I knew them in real life I would have turned up on their door step with a meal, or offer to do something around the house. But all I can do is pray, leave a comment, and wish I could do just a little bit more.

Six things

A while ago (a long while ago – before prac) Kaysie tagged me to do a meme. This one asks me to write down 6 things I have learnt this year.

There are so many things I could tell you; things I have learnt about child development, things I have learnt about teaching, things I have learnt about God, things I have learnt about living with depression, things I have learnt about sewing, things I have learnt about managing a budget.

But I decided to go a slightly different way. Our Bible Study has been studying Proverbs the last few weeks so I thought I’d pick six Proverbs (only six!), which relate to some things I have learnt so far this year.

1. Do not let your heart envy sinners but always be zealous for the fear of the LORD. Proverbs 23:17

2. Better a little with righteousness than much gain with injustice. Proverbs 16:8

3. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30 (You may recognise this from my sidebar)

4. Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18

5. He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray. Proverbs 10:17

6. For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2:6

I have discovered a new love of Proverbs - there are so many amazing morsels of goodness in it.


I now tag Rachel, Rachael, Katie, Elise, and Stephanie, if you want to play along!

Teacher Meme

Rachael tagged me to do a meme on teaches. I have to name five teachers who have had an impact on me and say what made them great. I went to a small Christian high school which was full of wonderful teachers so it took me a while to narrow the list down.

Mr Inglis was my core room teacher in year 8, and my Geography teacher in year 11 and 12. He is an older man, who had lived an amazing life, he had taught in high schools in both PNG and somewhere in Africa (I think Tanzania). Mr Inglis had an obvious love for God and would often start out the lesson with a bible passage. He was also passionate about what he taught and we would love to get him started on various topics (like globalisation) when we needed a break from work. He had the funniest turns of phrase (Run with the speed of a thousand startled gazelles!) and would put the boys in their place for not being nice enough to us girls.

Mrs . . . was a casual science teacher in year 8, so I only had her for a term (and I’m really annoyed I can’t remember her name) – I had always endured science until then. After having her teach us, suddenly I got why science was so exciting. (Everything in our world is so beautiful and intricate – there is no way it could have just happened by chance) She explained photosynthesis in a way I could understand. Gene theories of inheritance became fascinating. After that I really enjoyed science and I went on to do biology for HSC and cut up a sheep’s eye without fainting.

Miss Karajayli was my English teacher in year 9. We studied The Merchant of Venice and put it on as a show for the rest of the year and parents. It made Shakespeare come alive for me, and I can still quote parts of it to this day. She was also the only actual teacher who showed any interest in my writing. She encouraged me to pursue writing as something more than just a class assignment and was always interested to hear about what I was working on in my free time.

Jackie was a youth group leader for the first 2 years I went to youth group, and when she stopped leading I was devastated. However after she stopped leading our friendship grew from that of a leader to youth-group-goer, to a real friendship. She wasn’t afraid to admit that she was sinful and human, and through our years of friendship she kept turning my eyes back to God and showed what real faith in a real world could look like. Jackie is a writer herself and we have had many conversations about the art of writing and how to use it for the glory of God. It was Jackie who read my first attempts of a manuscript and offered friendly advice. When I went through my darkest days Jackie was there and helped pull me out of the pit more times than I care to remember (I think she might say the same thing). One of the happiest days was when I was able to watch God grant one of her deepest desires.

Felicity; while being a teacher has never explicitly taught me, yet I have learnt so much from her. Felicity is a trained early childhood teacher so has helped with assignments for uni, we have similar ideas about how children should be raised and have come up with plans for our ‘ideal’ pre-school.
Through watching her teaching Sunday school I have learnt how to gain a classes attention without raising my voice, how to teach complex biblical truths in the simplest ways, how to build a lesson with lots of activities that will all reinforce the main point (and remembering to only have one main point when teaching a class of toddlers).
But more than that I have begun to visit her once a week to pray together and there have learnt many things about living a Christian life and being a godly wife and mother. Things that I may never use but I hope will be helpful one day in the future; how to weave biblical truths into everyday conversations with a 3 year old, how to breast feed discreetly in public, how to maintain a routine, how to have a home that is always open and welcoming, how to support your husband – and how to befiend a younger girl who is hungry for Christian companionship and allow them to become part of your family; letting them hold babies and change nappies, letting them shed tears on your couch while you rock an over tired toddler, letting them build houses out of blocks and drive cars along the carpet, discuss materialism, mission, desensitisation when there are so many other things you could be doing.


I now tag Rachel, Kaysie and Elise.

Photos from Kessiye and cesarastudillo