January 8, 2013

Looking Up

All it took was one phone call.
A message left when I was at the shops. A call returned on my way home.

My situation at work, that had been so uncertain was suddenly secure.
Suddenly the year ahead look different. Less unknown. Permanency where there had been a whole lot of blank.

I came to the door, eyes shining, a spring in my step.
Good news shared and hugs all 'round.

'God is good', I say. I am reminded to trust and rest in Him. His timing is perfect.

And yet,
I've been here before; certain that finally this is where God wants me. And something holds me back. I'm scared this is another lesson, in trust and giving up of control.
The pessimist in me wants to hold back celebrating. The optimist wants to jump for joy.

I am like a little child, learning to walk.
My Father stands before me, hands out stretched, urging me to take one more step, to keep going.
Each time I fall, I sit and cry. I don't see the point. Yet, I look up and He is still there, so I push myself to my feet again, and take anther step. My balance wavers, and I know there will be many, many more tumbles.

Like a child, learning how to walk. No matter how many times I fall, the only option is to get up and try again. Because I look up and He's still there, and I trust that I'll make it in the end.

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