September 3, 2011

Build up

A few weeks ago (July 3rd) I came across this article in the Sunday Life magazine that comes with the Sun Herald newspaper. Mia Freedman writes a column each week, generally about something related to life/people/society. I normally like what she has to say, even if I don't agree with her, because she writes about parts of our day to day life that get over looked.

This article was about two couples she had noticed who made an effort to speak and act positively towards each other. (I have scanned the article, hopefully you should be able to click on it to enlarge it to read)
For about a week I kept the article and tried to work out why I was so drawn to it.

Finally I worked out that it is so rare in the media and (unfortunately) in day to day life to hear people speaking positively about their partner, especially if they have been in the relationship for a long time. Too often our society encourages a joking put-down culture where it is ok to make fun of your partner as long as it's in jest. From my experience this is common even  in Christian circles.

Instead we should be doing everything to build up marriages. We should be encouraging couples to choose to love one another. Even though I am not married I could decide I will not listen to joking put downs, not laugh when they are said, gently ask good friends about the good things their partner does and applaud those things instead. Marriages have so many pressures that try to bring them down and tear them apart.

Lets decide we will instead build up marriages, be part of a culture that says respecting and loving our partners is something we value.

(P.S. this article was merely a catalyst for myself to start thinking rather than something I think is the conclusion on the subject. And I also think that in close one-on-one friendships/mentoring relationships it is ok to discuss things you find difficult about a relationship in the context of wanting to work at bettering your marriage)

No comments: