On Saturday Joshua and I went to an engagement party for another missionary kid we grew up with in Talua and a girl I use to go to uni with. That morning I had gotten a text to let me know a guy I went to youth group with had proposed to his girlfriend. My closest friend from school just celebrated her first wedding anniversary. My best friend is in a serious relationship. I run out of fingers when I count all the people I know who will be having babies in the next few months.
This all added up to me waking up on Sunday with an overwhelming feeling of loneliness and sadness.
I've learnt to pick the signs; I knew that I needed to get out of the house. I needed to be with people, but I couldn't be somewhere where I needed to make a huge effort. What a blessing it was Sunday.
I was able to drag myself out of bed, get dressed and go to church.
I sat in the pew and felt my mood start to lift already. I love the buzz of conversations around me. People who know me smile. We all join in with gusto to sing. After the service I sat for a long time and just cuddled my favourite little boy.
Not everything is better, I'm still struggling. I may never have a family of my own - but I so thankful that I have a family here, in my church.
photo from sxc