Do you remember when you were little, and would visit the beach?
Huge waves crash to the shore, rhythmically, one after another.
And you'd run, with wild abandon, into the water.
Splashing and squealing through water a few centimetres deep.
Then a wave comes, and you scream, turn and run out of the water.
Which when you think about it, is kinda crazy.
Because you saw the waves even before you set foot in the water.
You knew that when you entered the water that a wave would come.
And yet you still scream and turn and run away.
There are times when I am such a crazy mix of fearlessness and anxiety.
I make big jumps forward, take a course of action that is so out of character. And when the wave suddenly rises up (a wave that I ran towards), I freak out wondering what on earth have I done.
Run forward, then turn and sprint back.
Because while the wave could crash quietly, with cool fast water that feels beautiful against my legs, it could also swamp me and draw me under. I'm praying like crazy for the former.
You never know until you dive in :)