April 26, 2013


Its been a few years since I stopped saying 'when'. And its been a while since I stopped saying 'if'.
I don't know if I am finally beginning to trust and know God is in control, or I am just beginning to stop hoping.

Because every time I have been sure that God is saying yes, I've had the rug pulled out from under my feet. I don't understand. And I really want to understand.

A few years ago God brought an amazing woman into my life, who has become as dear as a sister to me. A week ago God gave her an amazing answer to prayer, a prayer I prayed at their wedding.

A tiny little girl, completely perfect and adorable.

I go over after a few days to help out.
I am so grateful that they let me come over, invade their newborn space, to share in the gift. Even just a little taste of the sweetness is a blessing. I am so thankful to them.

How amazing to think you can care so much for someone so tiny and who you just met.

I give the miracle a cuddle. She falls asleep against me, and I drink in her sweet new born scent. Her breaths are tiny, and with a little snuffle she lifts her head close enough for a quick kiss. For a moment I close my eyes, and cry out to God, "Oh, Lord, please."


Katie Lindsay said...

It's a hard time isn't it? But so beautiful too.
I see my best friend's little boy at least once a week, often more, as well as my nephew, and honorary nephew, and how I long for one of my own to join the group.
I am a step ahead of you, in that I am married, but a step behind in that I am not properly employed and we have agreed to buy a house before having children.
I hope your time comes soon, and that it is all that you dream.

Erin said...

Thanks Katie, and you too!
It's lovely to be able to share in close friends and family's little ones, very special isn't it? :). And I know how much some of my parents friends meant to me when I was growing up so I look forward to being like that to my friends little girl.