Its been a few years since I stopped saying 'when'. And its been a while since I stopped saying 'if'.
I don't know if I am finally beginning to trust and know God is in control, or I am just beginning to stop hoping.
Because every time I have been sure that God is saying yes, I've had the rug pulled out from under my feet. I don't understand. And I really want to understand.
A few years ago God brought an amazing woman into my life, who has become as dear as a sister to me. A week ago God gave her an amazing answer to prayer, a prayer I prayed at their wedding.
A tiny little girl, completely perfect and adorable.
I go over after a few days to help out.
I am so grateful that they let me come over, invade their newborn space, to share in the gift. Even just a little taste of the sweetness is a blessing. I am so thankful to them.
How amazing to think you can care so much for someone so tiny and who you just met.
I give the miracle a cuddle. She falls asleep against me, and I drink in her sweet new born scent. Her breaths are tiny, and with a little snuffle she lifts her head close enough for a quick kiss. For a moment I close my eyes, and cry out to God, "Oh, Lord, please."